How to beat the holiday blues

For many, dreams of a white Christmas are a nightmare, especially in these bad economic times or for those who are alone during the holidays.

Diane H. Miller-Mandell, senior therapist at the Palm Harbor Family Counseling Center, said the holiday season can be a time of great angst, sadness and stress for some people who do not have families or a significant other.

Many feel isolated and alone, as if they are the only ones in the world not at a family gathering or with someone. For those who lost a loved one or have just gone through divorce or separation it is an especially difficult to be alone with just memories.

Miller-Mandell says this is not the time to be alone and dwell on thoughts of how things were in the past. Instead, volunteer to help the less fortunate, join support groups or seek counseling on how to live in the present and take things one step at a time.

This year in particular, economic problems have hit many homes, making people feel angry, stressed and depressed. Breadwinners have lost a job or the family income has been greatly reduced. These families feel the great stress of not being able to provide for their children at holiday time.

Not being able to provide for their families hit men particular hard with feelings of inadequacy, because they are supposed to be the breadwinner, Miller-Mandel said. Men usually react with anger and suffer low self-esteem, while women become depressed and withdrawn. Financial problems lead to arguments and increased tensions within the family.

While it is not good to frighten youngsters with the financial instability of their family, it is a good time to open the lines of communication and explain they may have to wait to get a desired gift at this time. The family should do things together that do not involve spending money. Displaying love and acts of kindness can be more important than material gifts.

It is better to suffer the holiday blues in the South because a person does not have to endure an icy, dreary winter that increases feelings of depression, said Miller-Mandell. She started practicing in Ohio and then moved to Florida.

In Florida a person can get out and bike, ride or walk. Some studies have shown there are people who suffer from seasonal affective disorders, known as SAD, because they do not get enough sunlight. It is much easier for Floridians to get out in the sun, even in winter, and enjoy the moment, Miller-Mandell said.

Good ways to escape the blues include living in the present, starting new traditions, finding things to be positive about and making plans for the future.

Some people experience more of a letdown after the holidays because they have unrealistic expectations that can't be fulfilled. This should be avoided, Miller-Mandell said.

Many of the things people do to ward off sadness, depression and anxiety, including excessive drinking or taking drugs will only mask those feelings for a short time and eventually make the depression worse, Miller-Mandell warns.

Sometimes depressed people only need someone to talk to and share their feelings with, so they know they are not alone, she said.